cheezit01 wrote:
I'll go a step further. What is the Biblical definition of *HOW* to become husband and wife? I know how our modern society define it, with a marriage license and a certified to do the ceremony. But how does GOD define *when* a person is married? I got I to a discussion some time back with a couple who were living together. They claimed that all they needed to do to be married in the eyes of God was to declare themselves married before God and witnesses. The only wedding I'm aware of in Scripture is the wedding at Cana and that doesn't say what a wedding actually is.

It is less about "ceremony" and more about making a VOW before and WITH God--the God of Scripture, not Krishna or some other false god.  A vow before God is binding, and it will be honored by those making that vow when they are faithful to God also.  So it is MUCH more than simply "declaring themselves married" before "God".  It is a Covenant before God, with God, and between the man and his wife.  It is knowing that this Covenant BEFORE GOD, is GOD making them one flesh, not THEY declaring it to be so.  Therefore, what God has made one, let not man put asunder.  It is quite apparent then, that GOD is really the central Figure here when two people make such a vow.  Obviously, since this Covenant is made before and with God as well, the witnesses will be assembled together as a body of believers--a congregation before GOD.  I don't really think that's the kind of environment that occurs in a secular marriage ceremony, for instance.  I mean, you did mention this couple talking about "God", no?  If God were no consideration in one marrying, then none of this would matter to them.  But if they say they are making this with God "witnessing", then they and all the witnesses are ASSEMBLED BEFORE GOD--a serious thing not to be taken lightly. 

It seems to me that when folks make light of it the way that couple did with whom you spoke, that they aren't really taking God seriously, but are treating Him as THEIR servant.  This to me indicates that they do not really approach God with a holy reverence, a holy fear, before whom vows are most serious indeed.  This is why many marriages fail--even those that are done in churches and legally. 

As well, to avoid the appearance of evil, it is appropriate to go through the legal channels of the law of the land.  Not doing so, I believe, is giving a bad witness before all, especially unbelievers who think nothing at all of fornicating or shacking up.  And this is not to mention the legal mess involved with something less than legally done, especially when children later come into the picture. 



Edited 1 time by ryld 02/05/13 9:13 AM.